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Gabe Newell
I hope it was worth the weight. Gabe Logan Newell is the managing director and co-founder of Valve Corporation, a wrestler in VGCW, and the current General Manager of the company. He has consistently been one of the strongest wrestlers in VGCW - he is a former VGCW Champion and reached the finals of The Great Tournament. He also holds the record for most total eliminations in Royal Rumble matches and has won one such match. Gabe also competes in tag team competition as one half of Safety Valve, along with Adam Jensen. In Real Life After leaving the Microsoft Corporation to found Valve in 1996, Gabe Newell (or Gabe N. / Gaben) has spearheaded the effort to save the gaming industry with the development of the software distribution engine Steam and hit franchises such as Half-Life, Counter-Strike, Left 4 Dead, Portal, and Team Fortress despite a tragic inability to understand the number three. He and his company have since become a household name for gamers everywhere, distinguished for their quality games and hat-wearing status. While Valve's slow-to-nonexistent release schedule has been the target of many gamers' jokes, you can be sure it's worth the weight. In VGCW Beta Client Gaben was at one time VGCW Champion during the Pre-Archive era. He is known to have successfully defended the title against Donkey Kong before losing it to the Pyro. Gabe's early winning ways would continue well into the recorded era, his power and technique solidifying him as a powerhouse. He participated in several early Royal Rumbles and a pair of King of the Ring tournaments, and while not able to win any of them, he demonstrated a consistent knack for eliminating his opponents from competition and established himself as a VGCW heavyweight. Peremptory Payments December 2012 started off roughly for Gabe when he was placed in a match against Nappa. Although he had suffered losses in the past, this would be his most brutal defeat yet, as Gabe became the first ever VGCW wrestler to be driven through the ring itself to end the match. Gabe pressed on despite the devastating loss, and even reached the semi-finals of the next week's King of the Ring tournament, which would determine the next #1 contender to the VGCW Championship. However, Gabe ran up against Proto Man and his Wallet Squeeze would prove to be no match for the dreaded Glitch Bomb. Sick of continually coming up short, Gabe sought to exorcise his past demons by engaging in a rematch against Nappa. The two battled inside a Steel Cage, and this time, Gabe emerged victorious after knocking down Nappa with a DDT long enough to successfully escape the cage. The feud between the two heavyweights would continue on and grow more personal, however. On the December 19th show, Nappa feinted wishing Gabe luck prior to their match, only to trick Gabe into revealing that he had never played Sega Saturn. This provoked the wrath of Segata Sanshiro, who attacked Gabe and left him beaten and battered with his match against Nappa still to come later in the night. The two held nothing back in their Extreme Rules match, bashing each other's bodies with a variety of weapons until, finally, Gabe sucked Nappa into the Wallet Squeeze, forced him to tap out and emerged victorious in the mini-feud. Eliminator.exe As it turned out, however, Nappa would still manage to stick it to Gabe when the two began 2013 in a Money in the Bank ladder match against four other competitors. Nappa won the match, thus guaranteeing himself a title match at any time he pleased, while Gabe was left with nothing. Determined to get a title shot of his own by any means necessary, Gabe nearly set the VGCW record for most eliminations in the Royal Rumble match later that night. After entering at #11, he would eliminate eight other competitors: Waluigi, Egoraptor, Duke Nukem, Captain Falcon, M. Bison, Pyro, Woody and Ash Ketchum. His rampage would finally be ended by Dr. Wily, stunting his shot at a title opportunity. With two title opportunities in a row having slipped through his fingers to start the year, Gabe took out his frustrations in singles competition. He defeated the mighty Ganondorf in a 2-out-of-3 Falls match, and then completely flattened Gary Oak in a King of the Ring tournament to decide the next VGCW Championship challenger. However, Gabe would go up against Ganondorf again in the second round of the tournament, and this time things would turn out differently. Ganondorf not only escaped the normally-reliable Wallet Squeeze twice during the course of the match, but struck a huge moral blow by crushing Gabe with his own variation of the move, forcing Gabe to tap out and eliminating him from the tournament. On January 22nd, 2013, Gabe once more put on a dominant Royal Rumble performance, lasting the longest of any competitor in the match. Coming in relatively late, he endured multiple double teams, eliminated five opposing competitors, and even faced his nemesis Nappa at one point. However, once it was down to only him, Locke and Charles Barkley, opportunity slipped through his fingers yet again when Barkley dunked him out of the ring. Tragedy struck on February 1st when Gaben went up against Barret Wallace in a fight to gain the rights to market Final Fantasy VII as a free-to-play game on Steam. Set off by Gabe's new partnership with Shin-Ra, Barret viciously threw Gaben into the audience. Six people were killed and two were seriously wounded by this event. Although neither Gabe nor Valve have issued an official statement following the incident, rumors abound that Gabe gifted free copies of DOTA 2 to the families of the victims, along with exclusive "My Family Member was Crushed by Gaben" hats for TF2. Gaben would go on to win the match, ensuring many hats for all Final Fantasy fans. He would, however, then become the next victim of the rampaging Mr. L, who assaulted him backstage. GM Client and Title Update Gabe's persistence and aggression finally paid off when at last he won a Royal Rumble match on 2013-02-28, last eliminating Mario to earn a future VGCW title shot. Additionally, Gabe received the second-most votes of any eligible competitor in the poll to determine the sixteen participants in The Great Tournament to determine VGCW's next general manager. The chance to become VGCW's champion and authority figure set Gabe's spirits high, and he vowed that should he successfully become the GM, hats would be mandatory for all competitors. The Great Gaben had his first tournament match on 2013-03-07 against his old rival, Nappa. The two entered the ring with enthusiasm and full wallets. Those were both about to change. Their match was a long, drawn-out affair, which included the destruction of one of the ringside barriers, and Table-san being stripped of her dignity. Then, in the waning moments of the match, the Savior came through. As Nappa sat slumped atop the ring post, Gabe grabbed him, and took a leap of faith. The crowd held their breath. The arena shook. The world stopped spinning. Gaben suplexed Nappa into the ring, causing the fourth ring collapse in VGCW history, and the second at the expense of these two giants. Nappa and the Ref lay broken on the ground, and Gaben slowly struggled to his feet, victorious. Gabe's streak of good fortune very nearly came to a screeching halt when Donkey Kong was unexpectedly suspended and the VGCW title vacated. It was initially announced that a tournament was to be held to decide a new Champion, but Gaben rushed to the ring to protest this development, stating that as the #1 contender, he had a claim to the title. Gabe was not alone, as Charles Barkley, Dr. Wily, and Ganondorf all claimed themselves deserving of the title, as each of them had lost the championship or a chance to win the championship as a result of the Glitch Bomb. It was ultimately decided that the four would face off in a Fatal Four-Way match at the end of the Great Tournament to determine whom the belt would pass on to. With his future championship match secured, Gaben proceeded through The Great Tournament. His second match came on 2013-03-19 versus another fan favorite, Chief Arino. With the main event spotlight focused on the two competitors, the crowd was as hyped as ever to witness who would advance to the Final Four. Savior was able to mount a great deal of offense early on, dodging Arino's devastating Kacho Kicks with the greatest of ease. Arino's inability to take advantage of such a wide hitbox would be his eventual undoing. During the match, Gaben almost met a gruesome end as he ended up being pushed atop Table-san. Arino scaled the top rope in order to land a backflip, but Gaben was too fast, executing an incredible backflip of his own to dodge the attack and leaving the Kacho to fall face-first through the table. With his opponent almost finished, Gabe locked in the Wallet Squeeze, which Arino was surprisingly able to counter, stunning everyone. Perhaps the Wallet Squeeze didn't accept yen? Unrelenting, Gabe brutally beat the final remnants of resistance out of Arino before pinning him to move on to the next round. On 2013-03-26, the night of the final four portion of The Great Tournament, Gaben promised in an interview with Phoenix Wright that all ass-kickings would be 75% off. This Steam sale activated as soon as he stepped inside the ring with Charles Barkley. After a routinely strong start, the crowd was already convinced that Gaben would be the eventual victor. Despite a decent showing and an almost successful comeback by Barkley, Gabe was able to lock in the Wallet Squeeze in the middle of the ring. For the second show in a row, however, Gabe's opponent managed to actually escape from the submission maneuver, reversing it into a devastating DDT. Which makes sense, as Steam doesn't accept Neo-Shekels, after all. Fortunately for Gaben, the damage to Barkley's ribs had already been done. The Chaos Dunk that destroyed Neo New York would prove to be nothing compared to the impact of Gabe's running splash in the middle of the ring, as Gabe successfully pinned the b-baller, leaving him one victory away from becoming VGCW's hat-slinging general manager. And It All Goes Offline And then, when 2013-04-02 came around and Gaben stood one step away from untold glory, it would all come crashing down. In the long-awaited VGCW Championship Fatal Fourway Match, Gabe quickly focused his attentions on Ganondorf, knowing full well how dangerous the Dark Lord was, while Barkley and Wily paired off and fought each other away from Gaben. The Dark Lord and CEO of Hats kept it mostly outside the ring and, at one point, Table-san was left in ruins when Ganondorf dove off the turnbuckle to try and demolish Gabe. Gabe didn't give up, however, and fought on...but Ganon and Gabe were so wrapped up in their own battle, they failed to notice that Barkley and Wily's fight had become increasingly one-sided and Barkley pinned the doctor while both heavyweights were still stranded outside the ring. Barkley walked away with the title, and Gabe once more came up short in his championship pursuit. There was no time for Gabe to dwell on his failure, however, as immediately following the championship match, he proceeded directly into the GM tournament finals against Adam Jensen. The Cyborg gave Gabe quite some trouble, exploiting his fatigue from his fight against Ganon, but before either competitor could achieve victory, Dan Hibiki entered the ring and struck both competitors down, claiming the coveted GM position for Dracula. His title chance was gone, his chance of becoming General Manager was stolen from him by Dan and Dracula, and even Steam went down during the stream. It was a dark night for Gabe. Safety Valve: Episode One Rather than mope about his consecutive losses after all of the hard work he had put in, Gabe decided not to take things lying down. He and Jensen confronted Dracula backstage following the vampire's takeover, making it clear they wouldn't allow his reign to last long. In answer to this show of defiance - and in particular Jensen's insulting remarks - Dracula placed the two former enemies in a tag team match against The Elite Two, who had yet to be defeated in tag team action. Gabe and Jensen made it clear to each other that they each would prefer to oppose Dracula on their own, but the two were successful in putting their differences aside for at least one night. The unorthodox team proved up to the task when Jensen bought Gabe enough time to lock in his trusty Wallet Squeeze and force Ezio to tap out. Although Gaben initially wanted no part in Safety Valve the same way Jensen did, he took a much different tack on the 2013-05-15 stream, approached the augmented man backstage, referring to him as "partner" and believing that they were, in fact, a tag team. Though Jensen denied it once more, it seemed like Gaben had done a complete 180 on the idea of teaming up with Jensen, which he confirmed the week after during a conversation with Dan, claiming that they were an official tag team, though Jensen showed Gaben out of the way and once more denied this was the case. Gaben would not be denied, however, and on the 2013-05-29 stream, both men were invited to Dracula's office, who claimed that rumors (most likely started by Gabe himself) had reached his desk that the two men wanted to officially partner up and compete in tag team matches. He then made it official before a livid Jensen and an ecstatic Gabe and then offered the newly-minted team a baptism by fire in the form of a match against Gerudo Skies. The match, held later that night, was a disaster for Safety Valve. Gabe had to fight off Gerudo Skies almost all by himself, Jensen evidently unwilling to play along with Gabe's tag team dreams, refusing opportunities to tag in and leaving Gaben to get mangled by both Ganondorf and Zangief for an extended period of time. They lost the match once Gaben tagged out and Jensen couldn't handle both members of Gerudo Skies after Gaben had been left in no condition to offer assistance to his partner. The next time Safety Valve would meet, it would be on opposite sides of the ring...as with Dracula defeated, it was finally time to conclude the tournament and determine the new GM. Gabe was forced to do battle with his best buddy, and it soon became clear that Gabe was in total control of the match. But despite his clear advantage, Gabe seemed reluctant to deliver the finishing blow to his friend Adam. He caught Adam in a Wallet Squeeze, but did it outside of the ring, where Adam tapping didn't cause him to lose the fight. Then he tossed Adam into the barricade corner twice, but merely headbutted him instead of going for the spear. Finally, after being hit with an Augmented Tombstone, Gabe decided he had to finally strike down his friend and, returning to the barricade one last time, speared Jensen through and won by count-out, taking his place as the new VGCW General Manager-and proving that the fight for GM, was, indeed, worth the weight. Gabe wouldn't hold a grudge, though, as Gabe and Adam were then seen after the show in Gabe's new office. The two of them overheard Nappa mentioning Dragon Balls, and Adam declared that they would have to gather them to make sure no bad people got any naughty wishes. Gabe, seeing no reason to doubt his best pal (and now subordinate), promptly agreed. And so, with VGCW delayed suspended while the GM was off on a Dragon Ball hunt, we all waited patiently for his return... The Steam Summer Sale Season: Episode 2 "Hold on now fellers. This is my show now! Any fighting will be done under my terms Of Service." To celebrate his first show as GM, Gabe Newell officially began the Steam Summer Sale a few hours before the beginning of Season 5 - Dragon Brawl. Gabe showed his dominance as a GM early by laying down the law when Dan tried to squirm out of a fight with Barret Wallace, making their match the main event, with Cancelled Mega Ran, who was rudely interrupted by Dan while performing a song beforehand, as the Special Guest Referee. Behind the scenes, he stated he was doing a splendid job as GM, before being corrected by Jensen by saying that VGCW was a weekly show, and that due to the show being on hiatus delayed by Valve Time six weeks, he was, therefore, a terrible GM. Gabe defended himself, then instructed Adam to retrieve one of Nappa's Dragon Radars, due to his superior augmentated stealth skills. Adam easily pulled the task off during The Practice's ambush of Nappa, but not before being confronted by Nappa later in his office, but was able to deal with the situation by stating that it was not his problem, and now that the duo has successfully obtained a radar, it was only a matter of time before their hunt for the Wallets Dragon Balls began. Not content to hiding in his office all season, Gabe competed in a First Blood match against Kefka the following week. But despite presumably booking the match himself, Gabe seemed unclear on the rules, and stuck to his usual strategy: damage the body then unleash the Wallet Squeeze. Gabe's offense was as fierce as ever, but Kefka's head-centric style proved far better suited for the match type, and Gabe lost the match after a shot to the ringpost drew blood - his first singles loss in over six months. After the July 31st show, in which Adam failed to claim a Dragon Ball, Gabe did not book delayed VGCW by Valve Time several weeks, eventually starting back up again on August 23rd after nearly a month away. Jensen scolded Gaben for delaying the night once more, claiming people would turn away because of it, once again calling him a terrible GM. However, the GM had a number of big matches planned in order to entice audiences back, including the first Royal Rumble for four months. Needless to say, the plan worked, as audiences across the world tuned in, praising the GM for holding a rumble in which both he and Adam entered. Gaben entered at #13 and managed to dominate as he usually does in Rumbles, managing to take out 7.5 wrestlers, before being thrown out by none other than Gary Oak himself. Jensen meanwhile found himself entering at #38 and throwing out Sabin who had escaped from the basement found his way into the rumble, giving Adam the victory, however rumours began to circulate throughout that Adam had intentionally been given late entry into the rumble by Gaben and calling him a Corporate Champion, echoing the infamous Little McMahon Saga from long ago. Gabe, feeling bitter over being eliminated by Gary Oak during the Rumble, booked himself into a match with the Pokemon Trainer on August 30th. Everyone expected the GM to utterly demolish Gary very quickly. What happened however, caught everybody off guard; Gary Oak, the lowest ranked wrestler in VGCW, and with only 1 Singles Victory, was putting up a fight against Gaben, managing to put him through Table-san and making him bleed. This caused Gaben to snap. He grabbed Gary and locked him into his fatal Wallet Squeeze finisher, forcing him to tap out. Gabe had escaped a huge upset, albeit just barely, angering a lot of people who claimed that Gary deserved the victory. On September 7th, Gaben learned that Donkey Kong was in possession of a Dragon Ball. After Adam said that he'll use his stealth skills to avoid confrontation, Gabe shot down that plan by stating that he will use HIS stealth skills to snag the Dragon Ball, arguing that Jensen had 'such success' last time with Barret Wallace. Apparently his idea of stealth is screaming at the top of his lungs for Donkey Kong backstage. After a watering down from Adam, he heard Geno's music beginning to play. Learning that Donkey Kong was due to fight Geno right now, he panicked and made his way to the ramp to stop DK, but not before being warned to 'act like a shadow' by his partner. Again partially ignoring his advice, the GM leapt from the rafters onto DK screaming "YOLO!", causing an earthquake that killed millions shocking the crowd in the process. Unfortunately, he not only sprained his ankle, but forgot to grab DK's Dragon Ball, only serving to piss off the Big Monkey. At least he now knew his next opponent... Miscellaneous Facts Gabe is one of the few contenders who is consistently able to win through submission via his Finisher, the Wallet Squeeze (also known as the "Valve Wrench" or "Gabe Hug"). To this day, only seven men have ever escaped a Wallet Squeeze: *Ganondorf, who pulled it off twice ''in one match, and on January 13th, became the first to get Gabe to tap out by turning the move against him *Zangief on January 22nd during an Elimination Chamber match, though he was later eliminated by Mike Haggar *Eggman, in a Hell in a Cell match on November 28th, though he tapped on a second attempt *Barret Wallace on February 1st, though he also ended up tapping out when it was locked in a second time *Chief Arino on 2013-03-19 after Steam refused the Kacho's pocket change meant for the arcade, though he was promptly pinned by Gabe shortly after *Charles Barkley who, in the 2013-03-26 Great Tourney match, dunked his way out of the hug using his accumulated b-ball contract finances. *Adam Jensen on June 2nd during the Great Tournament Final Rematch, used his augmentations to escape the squeeze. However, with 'Why can't we be Friends?' playing in the background, many assumed Gabe only wanted to hug his friend...even if Jensen never asked for it. *Kefka escaped Gabe's first squeeze attempt on July 20th, and though he did tap after a second squeeze, it didn't get Gabe the victory as it was a First Blood match All other wrestlers have immediately tapped out to the hug. Gabe's patented hug technology was stolen by at least three other wrestlers: JonTron (where it is commonly used as one of his finishers, referred to as the Grump Hug), Ganondorf, and Zangief during a match with Solid Snake. Ganondorf even successfully used it on Gabe during a King of the Ring Tournament. No response has yet come from Gabe. With 37.5 eliminations combined, Gabe is currently the record holder for most cumulative Royal Rumble eliminations, making him one of, if not THE biggest threat in a Royal Rumble match. Non Royal-Rumble Record Gallery alReZ.gif|Nappa and Gaben break the ring Ngx8j.jpg|The overlay picture flashed by Bazza for Gaben's opening and when the ''Gaben Wallet Squeeze'''' is used. hh gabe still cant into 3.png|Even with a horse mask on, he can't count to 3 Walletsqueeze.gif|Another successful Wallet Squeeze 1LTQAA0.gif|Gabe breaking the ring with Nappa. There goes Ref #4. gabedodge.gif gabedodgereplay.gif|Replay of surprising agility from Savior gabeleap.gif Jensen vs Gaben.png gaben in charge of being stealthy.png